i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
