If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize