i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
