we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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