think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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