i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
