went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
