Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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