I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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