ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
