It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
