I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
not ubering you a puppy
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