You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
