You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize