I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
