You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize