i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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