I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
