I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
