Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
