I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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