would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
