Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize