office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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