the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize