I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
