Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize