Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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