Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize