I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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