Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
