Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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