first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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