I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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