you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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