then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
