the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
