do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
