I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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