And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
