i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I could fuck to npr.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
