He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
