i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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