I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My vagina just recognized that song.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
