I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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