I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
