Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize