i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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