I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Houston, we have a blender
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
