I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
