I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
