new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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