you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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