Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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