Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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