Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Come on in and take your pants off
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