She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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