Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
